I hate the phrase “...will never be the same...”

Really? A coach getting fired from an American college football team is going to permanently change the course of history? Like, right there alongside the old Sack-o-Rome, the crumbling walls of Constantinople, or even the Magna Carta? Wowzers.

Have we reduced our perspective to one of a stamp collector looking for wayward scuffs on an engraving plate? No. No. Said philatelist —not a fellator, you pig— is still concentrating, something journalists who use the breathless, dramatic, exclamatory phrase are unable to muster.

Fucking lighten up, people. I get that you need The Alg, but for fuck’s sake, come up with a better phrase.